September 10th, 2006
I peed my pants at school
So, Japan has this system where all it's public employees have to have a health check every year. Last year it went just fine.
This year, the doctors came to my school instead of us having to go see them. Seemed nice. And as I was walking by the nurse's office on tuesday, she asked me if I had taken my test yet. I said I hadn't and ended up coming back the next period, got my little pee cup and went to wow them with my bladder capacity. I got to the bathroom, and had to make a choice--pee in the cup while standing (b/c I can) or do it sitting. I opted for the latter, and everything seemed fine. I got my sample in the little cup, pinched it off, everything was going according to plan. I was gonna sit the cup on the ground for a second and finish up my pee before heading back down. And as I'm sitting there, I was talking myself through it, on how to best put down the cup. "Nice and slow", I was thinking. "Be careful with the cup. Just set it down nice and OH SHIT!! I JUST FUCKIN HIT THE TOILET SEAT!!!" Pee splashed outta the cup and all down the front of my pants leaving me drenched. There was still enough pee in the cup for a sample, but that didn't really console me. At this point it didn't seem to me like I had a lot of options to hide my shame. I had an extra pair of dress pants in the teachers room that I knew were clean. But 1.) unless I was the incontinence ninja, there was no way I was gettin to them unseen and 2.) if I came back to the nurse's room after my pee test with a different pair of pants on....well, I imagine they'd be able to put 1 and 1 together. So, with a quick change doomed to failure, I decided to just try and friction it out. I grabbed me some toilet paper and started trying to burn the pee away. Suprisingly, it was really easy. In a few minutes, my pants looked just as good as if they'd never been peed on before. Only I knew the truth. And as I went back to the nurses room, to the teachers room, class and the rest of my day unnoticed in my pee pants (which, I tell myself, I really had no choice but to continue wearing), I think I pulled it off really well.
What'd you do?
|Date:||December 11th, 2006 05:29 am (UTC)|| |
Re: Incontinence ninja!
I love how you wore the pee pants throughout the day despite having a CLEAN PAIR OF PANTS at your disposal.
Classy, Ron, classy.
|Date:||December 11th, 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)|| |
Re: Incontinence ninja!
wow. this ol thing is still around??
Re: your comment
Obviously, if I changed pants, it'd lead to questions. Questions like "Did you pee yourself again?" And "Don't you think you should see somebody about that". Questions that, at this time, I'm not ready to answer.